I'm lost

I am so lost right now. What is my purpose? Do I even matter? I seem to fail at everything. I stress my family out, I'm not working, I don't clean. All I seem to do is yell, scream, crochet and cry. I hate me so much right now. I hate what I am and what I've become. I use to be happy. I use to smile and mean it. I've been lying for so long that I don't even know how to be happy any more. I need to be on my meds, I need to eat better, I need to exercise, I need to loose like 150lbs. (no joke) but will all that make me happy? Or will I still be broken? Why do people put up w/me? I just seem to make everyone upset or disappointed.

why bother

Gracie Lou

Here is my Gracie Lou. She is actually my mom's dog. Well she's been sick for awhile and today my mom had to put her down. So I went with her so I could say good-bye. It was so hard. But I know she's in a much better place and is happy. I love you Gracie Lou!!

RIP Dec 2003- Sep 2009